Ira (Celebrated By Citra)
My mama's name is Ira Ramawati Adityawarman.
As an only child (and coincidentally a girl too), I think our relationship, in general, is what makes her special and unique. Where we come from in Indonesia, the relationship between a mother and a daughter is portrayed in such a terrible way, unfortunately, in the mainstream media. There always seems to be tension, strained situations, and anger in some way or another. I am definitely not saying that me and my Ma's relationship is perfectly filled with rainbows and unicorns. We do have our moments where we get on each other's nerves but never quite like portrayed in many households.
We love to laugh - we always say that's our hobby. We can always find the funny in everything. We are also very, very close, up to the point where if others don't know I'm talking with my mama, they will simply think I'm calling up a close friend. I can say this proudly because it has always been mentioned, with comments such as "You talk to your mom like that?", "Wait, you tell that to your mom?", "You seem to be very close with your mom." Well, yeah...she's my best friend.
I seriously tell her everything, and when I say everything, I really mean everything. All the hot gossip of who's dating who from elementary school up until college. My friends are also probably closer to her than I am LOL! My parents are very open up to the point that my friends would be helping her cook or clean when I come home. I think when 'respect' doesn't equal fear, but a simple silver lining where we have mutual respect for each other - not always the young respecting the elders only like in most Asian homes, the relationship with your mother becomes the best sisterhood you'll ever have.
The way she has conducted this relationship with me has now made me become an empowered, strong, independent, and free woman, where I can hopefully become a figure like her to my mentees. She has a background in insurance. She was the daughter of a diplomat, her father (my grandfather) passed away when he was the Indonesian ambassador in Finland. She then married my father who was also a diplomat, and as a diplomat's wife, she has done nothing short of greatness. She has always been an active volunteer and social worker and she has chaired many organizations. She was also the first Asian woman to head the International Women's Club in Kyiv, Ukraine when we were there in the mid-2000's.
Tell us a little bit about yourself...
My name is Citra Benazir, I am 24 years old from Jakarta, Indonesia. I have a background in Diplomacy & International Relations. I was named after Benazir Bhutto, the first Muslim woman to head an Islamic nation. Citra means image, so my name is literally the image of Benazir. I founded a community of volunteers, Tis The Lyfe. I am an author of (currently) two books, Pleasure Girls (a collection writing about my struggles and journey as a woman) and A Caregiver's Memoir with Alzheimer's Indonesia (where I recount my story with my mother's mother, my grandmother who had Dementia / Alzheimer's and has passed away, yet spent her last moments with me). I am very much passionate about helping others. I have truly found my calling in being kind every day, everywhere, and to everyone.
What's your favourite childhood memory with your mother?
My mother and I are very competitive, so from such a young age we would try to top each other, be it racing up a hill, eating as much as we can, climbing trees and scoring goals. We're both soccer players.
How is your relationship with your mother today? How has it evolved over the years?
It's still amazing and definitely it has evolved simply because I grew up. I now present myself as a woman of my age who can talk much more R-rated things with my mom and have beers together then laugh it off.
What are some other ways that your mother has helped you to get to where you are today?
Simply through her kindness. I saw her being this respectable diplomat's wife yet she was never comfortable being only 'the wife' and she went and became president and chaired all these wonderful social moments and organizations.
"My mother always says..." I told you so.
Complete this sentence: "I adore my mother because..." she gave me the best gift of all, her infectious laugh.