Dilara
What does life as a woman or girl look like in your part of the world? What roles do women play in your society?
A Turkish woman these days, officially speaking can be anything, but in practice, it's much more different and the culture makes it a lot harder for a woman to do anything she wants. Mostly, a woman is a mother, a teacher, maybe a doctor, nurse, engineer, hardly ever a worker in the way men are, and almost always considered somewhat below men in terms of physical and intellectual power, but this part is not spoken of in fear of angering the feminists.
What do you think is the most significant barrier to women empowerment and/or gender equality today
Today, in my country, it is the women themselves. They need to stand up, stop putting up with inhumane treatments by their husbands or fathers or brothers, and actually start thinking for themselves. Turkish women need to understand that they aren't the 'stupid girls' that boys always said they were, and that life isn't something that can't be experienced with a constant dependence on a male figure. Women need to learn to put themselves first. They need to discover their own journeys before getting tangled up in someone else's.
OK, tell us all about yourself. Who are YOU & what should the world know about you?
I am Dilara, 21, a university student studying Translation and Interpretation in Izmir. I've been luckier than most people in terms of parents, but still, when I think about it, I see the choices that were made by my parents were [influenced] by my gender. Most of these are to do with my safety, so I don't have the heart to blame them, but I do blame society.
I am a woman in Turkey, and I can't do many things a man can, solely because of my gender. I can't be as bold as a man, can't stand up for myself as freely as a man, because I'm scared for my life. I can't be too confrontational, and can't be too chatty. What men think of me will affect my entire life, so if I trust the wrong men and make a mistake, I know it will follow me for a long time.
My parents are religious, and I too believe in a god. That doesn't mean I condone the misuse of religion for selfish purposes, or to harm people though. I have always followed the dreams that were reasonably achievable for myself, like choosing the department I now study in. I love what I'm studying, and I love that I got to change my mind during the last year of high school and that my parents let me.
I love art, and creating something that surprises people, that makes them think of something that they otherwise wouldn't have. One dream I have that I don't really believe will come true is to become a scriptwriter and a director of my own stories. I would like to show people something of my own, something that will maybe help them understand me, or themselves, or others around them better.
Describe yourself in one word: "I am... a mediator.
What are you most passionate about and what are you doing with that passion?
I love to make people understand things, whether it's myself, others, or other kinds of things. I hate misunderstandings. Studying Translation has taught me how to be patient with people who don't understand each other, and how to clear my mind while explaining things to them. I'm studying something I love and am good at, and also, I'm minoring in Cinema, which is related to another aspect of making people understand, or see me and what I'm trying to tell them. I want to show people my thoughts, ideas and dreams so that they understand me better.
What are some of the most notable events (milestones) that have happened in your life to date?
I chose to change schools in the last year of high school, to study in the department that I wanted to. I started to minor in Cinema which is something I never thought could happen. I started writing again after not going near it for four-five years.
What obstacles have you faced and overcome?
I had a breakdown from anxiety and depression in my third year, and got over it and got treatment, and continued the semester. Defeating something that I've been dealing with since I was a child actually made me feel strong again, and like I still had a chance in life. I had, at some point given up, I couldn't see a future for myself and I only wanted it to end. After I got treatment, and saw that I was actually getting better, I put myself out there and made amazing friends. I'm still continuing the treatment and still struggling at times, but I feel so much better now that it doesn't affect my day-to-day life anymore.
Looking externally into the public sphere, what female public figure inspires you the most to achieve your dreams & why?
I love finding inspiration in the people closest to me, the women in my family, my friend circle, and even the ones I know from afar. When I see them achieve things that I can follow the path to, I feel infinitely more confident that as a woman, I too can achieve as much as men, and even more. But in a more broad sense, I would say women intellectuals and writers affect me the most. For a long time, I've been a fan of Virginia Woolf. Recently I've gotten into the works of Naomi Wolf. I suppose I like a clever woman who can put men into their places if need be.
What's your definition of success?
Doing what you love in the best way possible. To be passionate and good at it. And to not be afraid of claiming the glory.
How have the women and girls around you helped you to get to where you are today?
They've at times shown me what will harm me, how not to act in life, and how not to trust others. At other times they've shown me that chasing after something you want isn't always impossible. They've made me so much braver than I would've let myself be, and I'm eternally thankful for the chance to be around, observe, and have exchanges with all of them.
Complete this sentence: "To be a girl or woman today, is to be..." burdened by the sacrifices of your fellow women throughout the history, while walking towards the hope that one day you will be living a life where you will get to be perceived as a human before anything else.