Delphyln
In your opinion (and experience), what does life as a woman or girl look like in your part of the world? What roles do women play in your society?
Where I'm from, women are born and raised for marriage. They are made to think that a man is and will always be superior to them. They are told that marriage is an achievement and a man is a way out of poverty. Falling pregnant for a guy is something normal even at a young age. Mothers teach their children that it's okay to fear. They teach to aspire to being slaves, low-income workers and so recycle the cycle of poverty and abuse. They hide behind make-up and cover screams whilst protecting monsters who abuse them. They keep quiet when children are molested by family members and even when a child speaks up, the community behaves like they didn't hear or see anything. Being different earns you stares, even if you go to school, earn your degree, get a good job, buy a nice house and car, you are still not good enough if you are not married. You are not woman enough unless you have kids. Your worth is measured by the male in your life - does he have a car? Does he work? And it's always a competition in the neighborhood.
What do you think is the most significant barrier to women empowerment and/or gender equality today?
Women are still being raised wrong. We are being brainwashed into believing we are not good enough. That men have all the power, that we are nothing but inferior to the other gender. It's not easy when society and culture keeps you from being free. Women are forced into marriage. Lobolo is being paid for them as if they are some clothing from a retail store. Their opinions do not matter. They are raised into believing they have no say and will never have a say.
Wow. Alright, tell us all about yourself. Who are YOU & what should the world know about you?
I am Thandeka Delphyln Choba. I take on the world in a very different way. Depression changed me and also made me realize that whatever you set your mind on, you can do. I challenge society’s standards and I'm not afraid to take risks. Apart from being an aspiring freelance model, I also fix cars with my friends. I see myself as a Victorian - I don't let anyone or anything limit me and I go for what I want. I was bullied a lot and still I am being made to think I'm not worth anything. People have rejected me because I don't have clear skin, because I don't have the perfect body, etc., I've been raped and left for dead but through strength and prayer, I survived and lived through the experience. Many said I asked for it and some say they were trying to take the 'tomboy' out of me. My story still continues as I live to fight another day. Every night, I break down but every morning I pick myself up and build on a better future ahead.
Describe yourself in one word: "I am... Unique
What are you most passionate about and what are you doing with that passion?
Modeling, but with the sense that says, different girls, or girls with flaws and imperfections are also beautiful. I'm building a platform where they can express themselves and see someone doing it so they feel more confident about themselves.
What obstacles have you faced and overcome?
My rape has been a huge setback in my life but I'm fighting through it even to date because it never goes away really.
Being rejected by modelling agencies and being told I wasn't good enough.
Living through depression and finally healing.
Looking externally into the public sphere, what female public figure inspires you the most to achieve your dreams & why?
Well, Winnie Harlow inspires me the most because she lacks perfection but still is significantly beautiful and does everything as if it is easy. Maya Angelou was also a huge inspiration with her wise words and her past didn't determine her future.
What's your definition of success?
Being successful means being able to provide a safe platform for girls from my neighborhood and my background to be free and to fully express who they are with support behind them and true love.
How have the women and girls around you helped you to get to where you are today?
Honestly, women from where I'm from are more hurtful than men but my mother has been my rock and pillar of strength.
Complete this sentence: "To be a girl or woman today, is to be..."
A risk taker and a breaker of culture rules, [and] also, to be fearless.
